Chinese Proverb

"The mightiest oak in the forest is just a little nut that held its ground."

routines and habits

“Routines and habits are the Known, protecting us from the Unknown. Habits are also called home. Habits tame the raw wilderness of existence into the civilized comforts of everyday life. Unfortunately, as we all know, habits gradually domesticate all the wildness and energy out of life. So much energy gets bound up in routines and habituated patterns, keeping them alive, that your life goes dead instead. Thus, if you want to discover again the wild side of life, you have to leave “home”; you have to break or dissolve your habits in order to release the energy locked up inside them.”

–Ed Buryn

in love

"It was in love I was created, and in love is how I hope I die."

- Paolo Nutini

Female Astronauts

NASAs Forgotten Female Astronauts

Though not as grand, this misogyny still exists.

What Your Destiny Will Be

"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." - Albert Schweitzer

"Dive"

- Andrea Gibson

("Dive" YouTube link)

Culture Replaces Biology?

End of Evolution: Has Human Culture Replaced Biology?

I am endlessly intrigued...

Not Sure How I Feel About This...

my friend

"When you're aiming for the sky it always feels like you're running around flapping your arms and waiting for the miracle of flight.  And then you realize all you ever had to do was close your eyes and dream it and you're wherever you can imagine yourself always wanting to be."  -- Taylor McHugh, a true friend

WIN!

http://failblog.org/2009/08/07/hair-salon-win/

It's Your Call

"You're scared to death at the fact that you might have to rely on yourself for the first time ever...

I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone.  You'd never know it, but there's most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way.  Maybe because you're feeling completely abandoned.  Maybe because you realized you aren't as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know you should have handled something different.  Or maybe because you aren't as good as you thought you were.  In the end, when you hit that low point, you have a choice: you can either wallow in self pity, or you can suck it up.  It's your call...

It's the day I realized that admitting we are not heroic is when we are the most heroic of all."

-Scrubs, Season 1, My Hero

How I Feel

Morning in a City - Edward Hopper

De-stress the dis-ease

Good article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anne-naylor/8-ways-to-read-your-bodys_b_250643.html

"To slow down further, take in a few deep breaths. Breathe the spirit of wellness into your dis-ease or whatever it is that is causing you discomfort. Expand out of and beyond the tightness and tension, the issues that are painful for you. Leave them behind with your out breaths. Allow yourself to feel the peace within you."

Creativity or Pension?

“Freedom  of movement is not the only vital liberty; freedom of work is still more important.  Nor is subjugation the greatest bondage; narrowness of opportunity is the worst cage of all.” – Rabindranath Tagore

I met a Malay man on one of my many plane rides here who was just laid off of his job of 8 years in California and was moving back to Malaysia due to his lack of funds.  He seemed quite find over the decision when he said, “Humans weren’t meant to stay in one job for 25 years.   Sure, it’s great for pension and health insurance, but it stifles our creativity – our souls weaken.  And think about, its stupid to think that a company would keep the same employee for that long – why, because they know what they’re doing?  They know the routine? Sure routine is good for a bit to sustainability, but I thought business, and life, were about risks – so you gotta switch it up because nothing will never grow in the same rut they’re making.”

More reason for health insurance and social security to be stronger in the US: relying on a job for those things is stifling creativity!

BANGKOK: Buddhas, Rice and the French - OH MY!

SO, Bangkok!! Well I arrive late Wednesday after a loooong day of flights from Japan to Malaysia (delayed plane) to Bangkok.  Mark met me downstairs and has one big room.  He had to go to work at the IOM so I slept in a bit then hopped in one of the brightly colored taxis (and when I say brightly colored, I mean brightly colored: fuchsia, fire red, daisy yellow, violet) to a temple called Wat Pho, with one of the largest statues of Buddhas eveeerrr.   I found a smaller statue with more solitude and meditated for a bit.  I cried a smige, out of gratitude – God is Great.  After taking too many pictures (which there are sooo many tourists here!!)

I walked around, avoiding other ‘ghosts’ (white people).  I found this outdoor food stand where this little cook caught me eyeing some food so she just slapped some fish and rice onto a plate and handed it to me.  It was suuuper spicy but good.  And it cost about 70 cents.

Then I took a Pepto pill.

So I wander around to a smaller non-touristy temple and some old man convinced me to buy a pendant with the portrait of man that I don't know.  These three college Thai girls approach me and ask if they can interview me for a class, asking me about my opinions on Thailand. they speak a little English and were so cute.  We wound out walking around (dude, my Thai is terrible, I can't remember their names for the life of me) and they helped me pick out a dress for the evening!  They told me if I was staying in Thailand, they would take me to Chang-Mai.  I love making friends.

So I head back and get to Mark's apt.  We grab some Pineapple rice then head to the red light district where there are shows of Thai women popping ping pong balls out of their pussy. No. Lie. There are menus of this shit: pussy writes a letter, pussy blows out a match... intrigued as I was, I declined.

Next day I bum around his neighborhood for a bit, still catching up on jet lag and lugging around that damn luggage.  I sat with this old woman watching the King on TV.  Later we ride on the back of two motorcycles through the traffic to dinner.  Then to one of Mark’s coworkers place to drink until we had out.  Gorgeous building, though security was lacking because they let us hooligans in.  One girl is from Toronto but lived in France so we were meeting some French people (there are lot of them here) at this club called 'Bed and Supper.'  We get there and I buy shoes on the street because my Tevas don’t go with my purple and black cocktail dress.  Arriving at the door to the club, the guy who we are supposed to see sing, already performed and we weren’t on the list anymore -- it was 800 bhat to enter. Toronto chick works her magic and we get in for free. The club is full of couches where we lounge with the French.  The brother of one of the Frenchman gets up and sings again, in Spanish, Italian and English.  Another coworker, a sweet Asian guy from Toronto buys me a drink and we hit the dance floor like maniacs, it was beautiful.   The Frenchmen start dancing with me, and do as the French casually do...  

Mark heads home so I stay out with the Canadians and French.  We cram 8 in a taxi and move onto another club, where I sort of accidently kissed this Thai girl after dancing on the stripper pole with Toronto chick.  Then about 3:30am, this Indian (or was he Turkish?) man told me he wanted to marry a girl with short hair then asked to smell it.

I left.

Mark we go to the Grand Palace and I got myself lost in the gold and gems and copious amount of Buddhas.  I wrote a bit, hidden in this little enclave surrounded by paintings from the Mahabarata.  Your eyes could get lost in a place like this, there is so much to look at.  I sat in this one temple where a 14cm Emerald Buddha lives symbolizing a long history of Thailand – it was stolen like 5 times.

At night, we have reservations with Mark's friends to eat at this rooftop bar above this super fancy hotel.  It was an interesting ending to Bangkok: sitting with two pretentious trust fund babies who are studying finance and did not ask me one question about myself, on this overpriced menu of roasted duck in a sundried cherry sauce surrounded by rich people and the lights of metropolis.  Dhaka will not be like this, at all – my last hurrah.  We ended up at Cow San (sp?) and I drank my whiskey in twenty seconds because I wasn’t allowed to bring it upstairs to watch this rapper.

We headed back to Mark’s in time for me to pack, catch up on emails and head to the airport at 3:15am.

Short, sweet, but – sweet. I liked Thailand: it’s a friendly, obliging city and I love the availability of Buddhism. Maybe I’ll teach English on the border…

Click here to see more photos!

New Blog!!

For those who haven't caught on - check out my new blog:

http://amandasfulbright.blogspot.com

I'll be posting there more frequently as I begin this new journey!

Carmina Burana

I finally found my favourite version of Carmina Burana -- done by Chor Der Deutschen Oper Berlin.   When my computer crashed, I lost it.  I found other versions, but trust me, this one is right.  I've personally studied this piece for years -- years!  I know every part of this music, every cymbal, crescendo, horn -- even each time the triangle is used.  If you know me well, you've seen me rock out in my car or room to it; and by rock out, I mean heavy, man.

I cannot help but beam at this whole movement -- it describes life. Period.  Everyone knows the first piece (when you download it,  you'll say 'Ooh! I know this!'), which talks about the fortune of life, it's ups and downs.  The rest of movement describes it: anger, inebriation, youth, death, rebirth, God, depression, doubt... and a lot of love and sex.  My favourite piece 'Si Puer Cum Puellula' says:

If a boy with a girl

tarries in a little room,

happy is their coupling

Love rises up

and between them

prudery is driven away

An ineffable game begins

in their limbs, arms and lips

How sexy is that?!?  It's sung by six men, almost gossiping.  I like the idea of it being shared and worshiped for its romance.  I am so happy to have a hold of this piece of Western masterpiece before I head to Asia :)

Out of the Glass Bottle

“When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don’t know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in.” - D. H. Lawrence

Raised an Albatross

I have constantly been giving my mother hugs, to make up for a year of no hugs.  She is going through the 'empty nest' syndrome and isn't quiet about it.  Today I told her:

Amanda: You know, the best thing you can give your kids are roots and wings.

Patti: Yeah, but I didn't know I'd raise an albatross.

I love my mother.