'Ubuntu' communication

I had the most exquisite revelation:

I was talking on the phone with my best friend about all sorts of boy drama and internal reflection, and questioning the self and she sent me a message that one of her friends sent her.

Now, let me preface by saying that as much as we love her, this girl is a little, well, blonde (stereotypically speaking.) But the beautiful advice, thoughts and insecurities were not of the “stereotypical blonde”. You would not have known that a girl “like that” could think and feel this way.

What went across my mind, besides how true her advice was, was how willing she was to share what she was going through. Sharing how much she was hurting, why, and how she was getting through it. She mentioned her belief that coincidences don’t simply happen and went out on a limb. I was thoroughly impressed with not only of the validity, but the passion, understanding and sincerity behind it.

It’s true that it seems that you know your friends better than yourself. Doesn’t it always seem that you can solve your friends’ troubles in one call, but never your own? Maybe it’s not that way though, because your advice isn’t great for everyone. We tell our friends how to grieve, to seek revenge, to move on – but maybe we should take a step back and explain what we do to get over something. This girl said herself that she wasn’t talking about herself just to talk, but she was sharing in hopes of inspiring my friend to take action for her self. By saying “This is what worked for me, this is what didn’t. Now, take yourself – because you know what is going on in your head – and see how we are similar and different and piece together what works for you.”

No one can create or solve our problems except ourselves. No one can figure out everything and pave a smooth road for the rest of us. And at first – that fact is truly intimidating, to know that we are alone. However when you can get a brief and honest moment to gaze into someone else’s problems and solutions, it gives you the boost to help yourself. We are not alone in our problems; there are plenty of other crazy humans with the same fears, doubts and dreams. Unfortunately, no one talks about it. We’ve become sacred to open up in fear of so many things. It’s understandable, the world is pretty scary and so easily do we feel alone.

I guess we have to keep reminding ourselves that sharing the little knowledge you have picked up in your travels of life can become so useful for someone willing to listen. We must stop trying to put on the perfect façade. Accept and share our weaknesses. If that happens, if this communication becomes united, we can’t be alone.

There is a beautiful word in Africa called ‘ubuntu’. It’s one simple world that says “a person is only a person through other persons.” This word is exactly what I’m talking about…

If you keep to yourself, and decide not to share – then of course you’ll be alone.
A life of honestly and willingness to reveal yourself is likely to be met with the same sincerity, and hope.

Which is what I got from the message from that girl. She disclosed her personal insanities and without her even knowing – she helped at least one more person than she intended. And I thank her for reminding me. And in a sense, pay it forward.

xoamandapanda